Life Isn’t Fair

You may have heard this saying in your youth. Probably from your parents or grandparents. It was usually meant to shut us down during some sort  of argument concerning what we perceived as someone getting the better end of the stick. But where did this saying come from? And why is it such an important saying? 

Fairness, properly defined, is “freedom from bias, dishonesty, or injustice.” To be fair is to be just; that is, to be “guided by truth, reason, and justice.”

It has to be all of that above- If any of that is missing, then there is no fairness.

The earliest documented quote about fair that I could find in America comes from Oscar Wilde in 1893- Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not. Now his statement was penned in a play he wrote called “An Ideal Husband” This play dealt with politics and corruption. But for the pioneers before that, they learned all to well that the term fair was relatively meaningless in their world. 

I while back I brought a close friend along with me to explore, photograph and check the conditions of several Cemeteries in Bell County Texas. Many of these have been long forgotten, but have markers dating back to the early 1800’s, and even a few date back to the late 1700’s. One cemetery in Particular was the Sunshine cemetery. As I walked around looking at confirming names on the markers, my buddy made an interesting statement. He was looking at many of the markers and said, “This seems hardly fair. Some of these families had several children and no issues. Some of these families had all of their kids die before they were ever 10 years old!”

My reply was simple. “There was no fairness in the 1800’s. There was only life.” A quick look at infant mortality in the 1800’s is sobering- Statista states that- The child mortality rate in the United States, for children under the age of five, was 462.9 deaths per thousand births in 1800. This means that for every thousand babies born in 1800, over 46 percent did not make it to their fifth birthday.  

So when we see this, Imagine the settlers from Europe, really believing they had a chance to start a new life. They had NO idea what was waiting for them. Indian wars, disease, and infant mortality near 50% Some families seems to escape many of these disasters unscathed, yet others….. They were met with the injustice of early death, the seemingly unjust victims of earth’s fury. Drought, disease, and we haven’t even mentioned the attacks they endured from the local tribes. 

Yet they endured. Communities were formed. Churches, schools, post offices, and even masonic lodges were built. They seemed to prosper and grow. Communities were joined to create towns and cites. Lessons learned from the personal unfairness towards others, created Organizations, designed to help the less fortunate. It made them stronger, kinder, and wiser from the past, working towards a better future for others. 

We are were we are now, because of the “unfairness” of the past. And that seems fair to me.